Mets Day 337 - Back online

Several people have commented on the absence of recent blog posts.  Sorry.  Here are some of the things that have been going on since my last post:

There's no change in my sleep patterns.  Some nights are miserable, with only 2 or 3 hours of total sleep.  A good night is 5 or 6 hours of sleep.  There is no pattern to when I get poor sleep or when I get barely tolerable sleep.  I don't think I've slept more than 6 hours straight since my surgery last May.  I can feel a cumulative corrosive effect on my memory.  More and more often, I am pulling blanks for short term or long-term recall.  I'm way too young (50) for dementia.  Post-it notes and electronic calendar items help.

I was in Utah between March 7-13.  I flew out with my daughter, who had been admitted to Utah State University, and thought it might be a good idea to look at the place.  (Jennifer had flown out on March 5 on a previously-planned trip to visit her dad on his 75th birthday.)  The three of us spent most of March 8 on campus.  Kirsten flew home over the weekend, and Jennifer and I spent several days visiting family and friends.  It was good to catch up with so many people.  It reinforced to me how important family relationships are, and how they need to be constantly tended to thrive.  

I've cycled down from work, and go into the office maybe once a week.  I monitor my email from home, so my physical proximity is less important.  I am grateful that I can continue keeping my finger lightly on the pulse of my various matters, while having the time to try to address my ongoing physical issues.

Next Tuesday, March 19, I have CT and MUGA scans at Fox Chase in Philadelphia.  I have found that the best way to deal with an impending scan is to not think about it too much.  A scan either gives me bad news (my cancer has metastasized to detectable levels), or that it can't detect any secondary solid tumors.  It can't tell me that I'm cancer-free.  Since there is no known effective treatment for any secondary tumors, maybe it's better not knowing what's going on.  Not knowing conflicts with my training to acquire and act on information, so I keep getting the scans.  But I do not look forward to them.

I'll also ask the docs at FCCC about Duloxetine for incontinence, as I discussed in my last post.  I also have appointments with my local uro on April 3 (assuming he doesn't cancel again), and with the head of urology at Johns Hopkins on May 2.  Perhaps between the three of them, I can get some insight on how I can improve my quality of life.

The annual BCAN (Bladder Cancer Awareness Network) walk is Saturday, May 4.  We've set up a page for participants, and for donations.  Click here to go to the team K Bros web page.  If you are in the DC area, please join us for a walk around the tidal basin.  And please consider donating to this worthy cause.  Sponsors are guaranteed to get their money's worth in warm and fuzzy feelings, sort of like a wet diaper.  

Finally, click here for five things you didn't know about bladder cancer.  It's more fun than juggling chain saws!