The holiday season has been relaxing and fun. It's been great to have all of the kids home for the break, as well as my mom and stepdad here from Florida. We've kept organized outings at a minimum, since I find herding all of the cats in a single direction can cause more stress than pleasure. Instead, everyone is able to relax and do what they want -- sometimes playing family games, sometimes reading, sometimes napping, sometimes eating, or sometimes getting together with friends.
We did keep our Christmas Eve tradition of having a honey baked ham for dinner, then everyone gathering as we read the story of Jesus' birth from Luke 2. Jenifer wanted to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas -- still good after nearly 50 years -- and then we watched A Christmas Story ("you'll shoot your eye out!"). Amazingly, Jennifer said that she never had seen it. I thought that watching Ralphie and his family muddle towards Christmas was a required part of being an American.
Christmas morning we also adhered to our tradition that the kids can wake up as early as they want and open their stocking gifts, but if anyone wakes the parents, then that person opens their presents last. It's worked for 25 years, and I saw no reason to change it, even though Garrett was the only one who was at risk of waking up early. It's fun to relax and watch as each person opens a present. I am especially appreciative of how all of our kids seem to be taking greater joy in the act of giving (including the thoughtful consideration of specific gifts for each person) than receiving. So it is in life.
2013 ends tomorrow. I've never been a big fan of celebrating New Year's Eve -- it seems to be a lot of effort for a calendar -- so I doubt if we'll be doing much more than watching a movie or maybe playing a family game. Happy New Year to all.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Mets Day 618 - Together for the holidays
In the past week the family has gathered for the holidays. Jennifer, Chelsea, and Rose returned from the "Rose Tour" in Utah (Chelsea's medical residency interviews apparently were just a distraction, according to other family members). Kirsten finished her finals at CNU, drove home and slept for several days. Spencer finished his finals at NVCC and likewise took a long winter's rest. Garrett's Christmas break starts today. And on Wednesday, my mom and stepdad flew up from Florida for the holidays. It is wonderful to have a full house. Yesterday and today we've been baking and frosting sugar cookies -- I'm doing my part by letting my stomach fix the ones that are broken or are not perfectly frosted.
I've avoided the hectic shopping rush by doing all of my shopping on line. It's fun to look for offbeat and unexpected gifts for other family members. Jennifer likewise shopped via Amazon, and while she was in Utah, I had about a dozen boxes pile up. I was under strict instructions not to open the boxes she had ordered, but the problem was that all of my orders were to her name, since I used her Amazon Prime account and didn't bother to change the recipient. So after she got back, we carefully opened the boxes to decide who was responsible for what. The presents are gradually congregating under the tree, and the low-key anticipation gradually is building.
Meanwhile, my incontinence has started to reappear. Nothing regular -- I might be dry for several nights in a row, then leak for a night or two. There is no pattern that I can detect -- it seems unrelated to volume or type of fluid intake. Just another thing I have to deal with.
Speaking of which, my stamina has not improved by much. I still get easily run down if I do anything involving physical activity. I'm going to follow up with my oncologist after the holidays to see if she has any recommendations. I'm also going to have another CT scan in early January to see if it can detect any further spreading of my cancer. I find that I spend very little time thinking about my cancer, even though it has reordered my life. I deal with the fallout, but since I can't control the disease, I don't worry about it. It is what it is.
I've avoided the hectic shopping rush by doing all of my shopping on line. It's fun to look for offbeat and unexpected gifts for other family members. Jennifer likewise shopped via Amazon, and while she was in Utah, I had about a dozen boxes pile up. I was under strict instructions not to open the boxes she had ordered, but the problem was that all of my orders were to her name, since I used her Amazon Prime account and didn't bother to change the recipient. So after she got back, we carefully opened the boxes to decide who was responsible for what. The presents are gradually congregating under the tree, and the low-key anticipation gradually is building.
Meanwhile, my incontinence has started to reappear. Nothing regular -- I might be dry for several nights in a row, then leak for a night or two. There is no pattern that I can detect -- it seems unrelated to volume or type of fluid intake. Just another thing I have to deal with.
Speaking of which, my stamina has not improved by much. I still get easily run down if I do anything involving physical activity. I'm going to follow up with my oncologist after the holidays to see if she has any recommendations. I'm also going to have another CT scan in early January to see if it can detect any further spreading of my cancer. I find that I spend very little time thinking about my cancer, even though it has reordered my life. I deal with the fallout, but since I can't control the disease, I don't worry about it. It is what it is.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Mets Day 608 - Home with the boys
This week there's nothing but testosterone at home. Jennifer, Chelsea, and Rose are in Utah for the week, as Chelsea interviews at 4 different residency programs. Jennifer is the babysitter, taxi driver, and sherpa, and Rose is responsible for drinking the milk and being cute. With Kirsten at college, only the boys are home -- Josh, Spencer, Garrett, and I. We've already scheduled a cleaning service to come muck out the place the day before the girls come home.
Garrett has had no school for the past two days due to ice and freezing rain yesterday, and a forecast of up to 6" of snow today (we only ended up getting an inch or two). We have had a lazy couple of days, sleeping in, reading, Garrett playing video games, going out to eat. My energy level is still markedly down post chemo. I wonder how long the residual effects of the cumulative chemo burden will linger on. I'm so glad that I have not been continuing with the ddMVAC rounds -- I can't imagine how lousy I would feel had I gone through 6 rounds.
I've been mulling whether I should continue on as a partner with my law firm, or take a permanent disability retirement. On the one hand, I like having the option of returning should my health improve. Plus, having the ongoing access to the firm's health care is nice (although as a partner I pay 100% of the cost, about $22,000 per year for family coverage). On the other hand, I wonder how likely it is that I would ever be able to return to work, given the fact that I'm already past the statistical median point of overall survival for those with metastatic bladder cancer. The head of my group and other partners are encouraging me to keep my relationship with the firm, so they can draw on my experience as needed. I need to make a decision soon, as my current agreement with the firm only goes through the end of this year.
Garrett has had no school for the past two days due to ice and freezing rain yesterday, and a forecast of up to 6" of snow today (we only ended up getting an inch or two). We have had a lazy couple of days, sleeping in, reading, Garrett playing video games, going out to eat. My energy level is still markedly down post chemo. I wonder how long the residual effects of the cumulative chemo burden will linger on. I'm so glad that I have not been continuing with the ddMVAC rounds -- I can't imagine how lousy I would feel had I gone through 6 rounds.
I've been mulling whether I should continue on as a partner with my law firm, or take a permanent disability retirement. On the one hand, I like having the option of returning should my health improve. Plus, having the ongoing access to the firm's health care is nice (although as a partner I pay 100% of the cost, about $22,000 per year for family coverage). On the other hand, I wonder how likely it is that I would ever be able to return to work, given the fact that I'm already past the statistical median point of overall survival for those with metastatic bladder cancer. The head of my group and other partners are encouraging me to keep my relationship with the firm, so they can draw on my experience as needed. I need to make a decision soon, as my current agreement with the firm only goes through the end of this year.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Mets Day 605 - Garrett's Eagle Scout Project
Today my youngest son, Garrett, pulled off his Eagle Scout project for the Boy Scouts of America. He had planned and coordinate the entire thing by himself. The project was to build a French drain around a large pavilion located in Frying Pan Park, one of Fairfax County's parks. The pavilion had a 12-sided metal roof and no gutters, so the rain would run off and erode the earth at the base. Garrett located and identified the project, designed the drain system, obtained all the approvals, then recruited fellow scouts, church members, and class mates to show up and help.
Heavy rains had swept through the day before as a cold front passed through, and Saturday morning it was only 30 degrees with a stiff wind. Fortunately, the ground was not frozen. More than 20 people showed up to dig a trench about 10 inches wide and a foot deep, and more than 130 feet around the pavilion. We brought hot chocolate and donuts, which helped fortify the helpers. Garrett circulated among everyone, guiding them on what to do and directing all of the efforts.
I found that I was still weak from the chemotherapy -- after a few minutes of shoveling, I was wheezing and gasping for breath. I took some satisfaction watching Garrett coordinate and direct the work. He is maturing rapidly, and is overcoming the social awkwardness of mid-teens that is compounded by his Asperger Syndome.
The work moved relatively quickly, and by 1 pm all the gravel was in the trench, the earth smoothed out, and the gazebo swept up. We were done. I was so appreciative of everyone who came out to support Garrett. We returned home muddy and wet. Garrett willingly cleaned out the car and hosed off all of the tools while I climbed into the hot tub, then took a nap.
Heavy rains had swept through the day before as a cold front passed through, and Saturday morning it was only 30 degrees with a stiff wind. Fortunately, the ground was not frozen. More than 20 people showed up to dig a trench about 10 inches wide and a foot deep, and more than 130 feet around the pavilion. We brought hot chocolate and donuts, which helped fortify the helpers. Garrett circulated among everyone, guiding them on what to do and directing all of the efforts.
I found that I was still weak from the chemotherapy -- after a few minutes of shoveling, I was wheezing and gasping for breath. I took some satisfaction watching Garrett coordinate and direct the work. He is maturing rapidly, and is overcoming the social awkwardness of mid-teens that is compounded by his Asperger Syndome.
The work moved relatively quickly, and by 1 pm all the gravel was in the trench, the earth smoothed out, and the gazebo swept up. We were done. I was so appreciative of everyone who came out to support Garrett. We returned home muddy and wet. Garrett willingly cleaned out the car and hosed off all of the tools while I climbed into the hot tub, then took a nap.
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