Mets Day 319 - cancelled cysto

I supposed to have a a follow-up cystoscopy last Friday, to try to further assess whether the urethral scarring had gotten worse, and continue the search for a solution to my nighttime incontinence.  On Thursday, however, the doctor's office called and cancelled the appointment, saying that the doc was not going to be in the office on Friday.  The next opening wasn't until April.  Grrr.  I was not happy.

On Saturday night I woke up at 4 am with a wet sheet and mattress.  The pad that I was wearing in  my underwear had somehow slipped off.  I wasn't able to get back to sleep, and was groggy all day.  I never know how much or how little sleep I am going to get each night, and that of course sets the tone for the entire day.  It makes impossible having any sort of a predictable schedule. 

I am frustrated that there is no obvious solution to my incontinence.  It's strange, because incontinence and sleep deprivation are not as serious as metastatic cancer forming secondary tumors.  I have accepted the fact that there is nothing that I can do about whether or not the cancer spreads, so I have let go of that concern.  It is out of my hands, and I really don't think about it very much. But because I think that there must be a solution to the incontinence, I have not let go of that.  Plus, it directly impacts me every day.  I deal with it as best I can, but I hope that it can be alleviated.