I could not get to sleep last night. I took the Ambien CR as usual, did the usual nighttime prep activities, including catheterizing and putting on the Depends, prayed with Jennifer and individually, then settled in at around 11:30 pm. I think must have taken a placebo, or worse yet, a stimulant. I tossed and turned, got up multiple times, went to the bathroom, etc. I was physically tired, but could not sleep. It wasn't like my mind was moving or that I could not get into a sleep state; it's just that I could not actually fall asleep. I kept looking at the clock and thinking I was in a time warp, because the digits were not changing. By 6 am, I was utterly exhausted but still sleepless.
I'm in no condition to go to work today, or otherwise have deep thoughts. Even typing this blog note brings a cascade of errors. I'm yawning every 30 seconds, and hoping that maybe I can take a nap. Usually I do not nap well, but I'm going to find an eye mask and ear plugs and give it a try.
I've been on the Ambien CR for about 10 days now. This is the third or fourth time that I have had an exceptionally poor night's rest. I think that I'm going to go back to the doc and see what can be done about it, or whether there are other formulations that might be better for me.
Meanwhile, on Friday I was told that the insurance companies that are supposedly processing my disability applications have yet to receive any paperwork for an of my doctors. In fact, according to the insurance companies, the University of Chicago Hospital and Dr. Steinberg have no record of my having had surgery. I guess I must have imagined the whole thing. I do recall being under some pretty powerful narcotics, but I thought that was only after they cut me open and rearranged my innards. So I'm starting the process of collecting all of my medical records myself and will send them to the insurance companies. Yes, I will keep copies, because I have zero confidence that they will acknowledge receiving them, or process them correctly, or make a correct determination regarding my benefits. I despise bureaucracy generally, and insurance company bureaucracy in particular.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Rebecca and I stumbled across your blog as I was studying to give a lesson on Elder Uchtdorf's talk "Of Regrets and Resolutions". I was intrigued as my best friend had bladder cancer so read a bit more of your blog.
I thought I would tell you that I was on Ambien CR for a while and had the same reaction, as I sometimes do with sleep aids. It's called a paradoxical reaction, but you probably know that. One of my children also reacts this way to drugs.
I actually ended up doing better on just plain Ambien. It didn't help me sleep the whole night, but I was on a low dose so took another upon waking. My sleep had been interrupted by a tragic event in my life and I had developed severe insomnia as the grief overwhelmed me when I would lie down. The Ambien eventually helped establish a more normal sleep pattern, even though it wasn't 100% effective.
I'm so sorry for your struggles! Having watched my best friend suffer so much was an eye opener to how we should appreciate our good health every day we have it! I pray Heavenly Father will bless you with continued strength and courage.
With love,
Rebecca McDonald