Mets Day 2 - research on metastatic BC

I was diagnosed with bladder cancer 143 days ago.
I started chemotherapy 74 days ago.
Yesterday, I received the results of a CT scan showing that the cancer had spread outside my bladder, involving at least 3 lymph nodes.  The scan also found significant degradation in my spine, suggesting that my cancer has spread there.
"Mets" is short for metastatic cancer, and is my new temporal reference point. 

I have started researching metastatic cancer, in particular to the spine. Medscape concludes here: "The outcome of metastatic disease to the spine and associated structures is uniformly bleak."  Most of the treatment is management of pain.

Bladder Cancer Webcafe has an excellent overview of metastatic BC here.  The first four paragraphs are blunt: 

•  Metastatic cancer in all its many forms is a formidable foe. Metastatic cancer ('mets') means that cancer cells have traveled through the bloodstream or lymph system to form a secondary tumor of the same biological make up. Only 5% of people have metastases when their bladder cancer is discovered.  
• Transitional cell carcinoma of the bladder and/or upper urinary tract most commonly mestastasizes to the lymph nodes, lung, bone, liver and brain, although it can appear almost anywhere. Treatments for metastatic bladder cancer vary according to the site of spread, prior therapies and the needs of individual. 
• If someone is diagnosed as having lymph node or involvement or tumor outside the bladder, the option of cystectomy may be withheld (not considered worth the morbidity or the costs). 
• Metastatic disease is considered incurable; however a subset of patients who have stage IV disease which is local, or 'regional', such as minimal extension to pelvic organs or small volume metastases to regional lymph nodes may benefit from cystectomy with or without adjuvant chemotherapy or radiation. Chemotherapy or radiation are the treatments of choice, as well as cystectomy with an ileal conduit for palliation of symptoms. 

 A 2006 retrospective review of 179 BC patients with bone cancer is here.  I still need to do more reading.  Plus, I still don't know for sure what is going on with my spine. 

I'm meeting with my GW oncologist on Monday, and will be meeting with the surgeon at Hopkins on Thursday.  Until then, I'll be living in the fog of uncertainty.