Since my last round of ddMVAC chemo on Wednesday, I have been suffering from a bad case of constipation. I'm passing prodigious amounts of gas, but virtually nothing in the way of solids. I sleep with a heating pad wrapped around my gut, hoping for movement. I alternate between the hot tub and the bed, trying to rest. The night before last I woke up at 2:18 am in pain from the constipation, and could not get back to sleep. My colon feels like an old bic pen tube loaded with dozens of wet spitwads: no natural force will be able to expel them from their prison. Miralax and colace have been ineffective. I even resorted to taking Ducolax, with little effect. An enema might be next.
This morning I have a CT scan at NIH. Hopefully it will fail to detect any spreading of my cancer. I know the statistics and the virtual certainty that the tendrils of cancer slowly will choke my organs. Yet I can give thanks for each day that my life is prolonged, ever aware at how thin a reed life can be.
In times of pain, I am comforted by the small things: holding my granddaughter; a family game; a kind conversation with my wife; a shared laugh with one of my children. I wonder if my kids are aware at how a simple smile or a "thank you" can help raise my spirits. Such small acts of kindness helps teach me to try to be more gentle in my words and deeds.
Sending love out to you, Ken. You always felt like a big brother to me, and I continue to learn from you. Hoping you receive comfort soon.
ReplyDeleteHi Ken, I am a fellow Stage 4 bladder cancer patient who just had a recurrence of my cancer to distant lymph nodes on 10/11/13. I had my RC surgery on 1-17-13 where they removed 33 lymph nodes and 3 were positive for bladder cancer. I had 4 doses of the MVAC chemo in March and April and passed my 1st scan in July and returned to work full time but did not pass the recent scan where they found the infected nodes in my pelvic region and my left clavical near my neck. We are close in age, I am 53, and family make up. I want to thank you for sharing so much of your personal story and also commend you for your attitude and determination in taking on this dreadful disease. I have opted for a clinical trial at MD Anderson with Dr. Arlene Siefker-Radtke that will start next week. It is the use of a type of gene therapy called SGT-94. It is designed to deliver a gene to the cancer cells and not the normal cells. Once delivered, it is hoped this gene may cause the cancer cells to die. They have had some favorable initial results but nothing is guaranteed. If after 8 weeks it has not worked I will move on to a second line chemo treatment as you have. I would like to keep in touch. My email is mkonstant@yahoo.com. Also, my wife has set up a site on CaringBridge-http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikekonstant. Thanks and keep the faith!
ReplyDeleteMike
Hi Ken,
ReplyDeleteI'm another Stage 4 BC patient. Two years ago (and one year after neobladder surgery) we found out the cancer had spread to my lungs. Like you, I've been involved in a couple of trials with Dr. Apolo at NIH. I'd be happy to keep in touch. Feel free to drop me an email at wbainbridge@perkinscoie.com.
Take care,
Bill