For the past several days I can tell that the structure in my neobladder and urethra has been tightening the flow of urine. Voiding has become increasingly difficult, and my Depends is increasingly sodden each morning. I tried self-catheterizing last night and again this morning, and both times was unable to punch it past the stricture. Last night, some bloody tissue came when I pulled out the catheter, so I guess I was a little too enthusiastic in trying the shove the thing in. The stricture is about 10 to 11 inches in, and the urethra has some elasticity, so when I try to push, the urethra stretches out instead of letting the catheter push through. After I'm done, I have a pain in the pelvis that is most similar to having been kicked in the crotch. Sitting in the hot tub in a fetal position and moaning softly helps in the recovery.
It's fun things like this that make me pause when people ask me how I'm doing. No, you really don't want to know, and I don't feel like telling you.
Today the scheduler at Johns Hopkins told me that Dr. Trinity Bivalacqua will do the surgery to scrape away the stricture. Hopkins is working on scheduling the OR, and hopefully will let me know in the next couple of days. I'll have to wear a Foley catheter again - oh, joy - but it will be worth it if the procedure works.
In the meantime, I am trying to stumble by each day. Jennifer just told me that I look exhausted. If only I felt that good.
Oh, my dear, i'm so sorry you suffer so much, it breaks my heart. i hope you can have your surgery very soon. I hope you can have some rest tonight.
ReplyDeleteour prayers are with as always.
love you,
Mom