I've been lethargic and listless for the past several days. The chemo drugs have impaired the regeneration of lining of my mouth. It feels like my mouth has been scalded. Yesterday we got some "magic mouthwash" -- a specially compounded mixture of meds to help remedy the pain. I swish and spit, and it numbs up the raw spots and gives me temporary relief.
For the past few mornings my pillow has been awash in hair. Sleep has been hard to come by as it is, and having my sheets and pillowcase coated in hair does not help. Yesterday morning I took a shower and watched as the drain clogged with a hairball more than an inch thick. That's it, I decided. I grabbed the hair clippers and buzzed off all of my hair. I started with the #1 attachment, then went with the bare clippers. I then lathered up my skull and tried to shave the rest of the stubble off. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. Each of the family members got a shock as they came in and saw my bald head. Jennifer good-naturedly helped finish the job, shaving those hard-to-reach places.
So now I'm getting used to being bald. It feels strange when laying my head against a chair, or when my skull is perspiring. On the one hand, I'm glad I don't have to have my hair shedding over my food or clothing or pillow or shower, but on the other hand, losing my hair is a tangible reminder that my cancer is inescapable.
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ReplyDeleteMagic mouthwash is great. You could also try Biotene, while that doesn't have any anesthetic properties it will help with dry mouth. The spray or gel works best. I can identify with the baldness too. Hang in there. We love you!
ReplyDeleteYou were bald until you were a year old and I thought you were adorable. I'm sure I will feel exactly like that again when I see you next week. Don't worry about it, my dear, just keep your head warm. Seriously, you lose a lot of body heat without your hair, you don't want to catch a cold on top of this because your whole immune system seems to be compromised. I'll bring you one of Ralph's knit hats next week. I noticed the weather is going to be on the chilly side while we are there.......
ReplyDeleteI can give you a very dashing pirate shmata, guaranteed to stay in place if you don't jump in a lake.
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